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Parents who want to raise a high success must consider the development of the child.
The economy is competitive and the future is unclear. Meanwhile, high-performing parents expect their children to be just as successful as they are. But much of the common wisdom about raising a child to be a great success actually stands in the way of how child development really works.
It all starts with how we define success in the first place. A high performance is the child who wins competitive awards at 10, or the adult who transforms an industry?
Most parents expect to raise a child who is successful in adulthood and have been told that childhood achievements are the way to go. It is not.
To raise high performance, parents have to resist the toxic culture of parents that I call.
This culture of criticism and anxiety focuses on misconceptions about what parents should do.
Instead, in order to develop their children’s innate talent and creativity, parents need to take advantage of the science of child development.
According to Dr. Ruth Gotian, who is studying the great successes and whose book The Success Factor comes out in January 2022, ” limits of what we know to be true. They did things differently, faster, better, or more efficiently than others.
Successful people take what we know to be true, put it in their head, and re-examine it. Parental culture crushes children Innovative thinking of the kind that high-performing adults express is something that needs to be cultivated and cherished, but current parental culture tends to work against it in two ways.
Culture of Success First and foremost, there is the increasingly harmful culture of success, which has been shown in research to undermine children’s love for learning, especially for girls. In fact, the pressure on children to function is so widespread that in 2019 the National Academy of Sciences designated U.S. high school teens as a “at-risk” group of mental health issues.
Not surprisingly, a recent study found that girls who feel pressured to do so, whether on high grades, extracurricular activities, or in their social life, have more mental health problems. But most successful parents do not realize this, but rather ensure that primary school children receive hours of after-school tutoring or enrichment to make sure they reach their full potential.
Keep in mind that research on child development suggests that children would benefit much more from playing outside. Or that many of these children show anxiety, exhaustion, or depression in middle school. Early specialization Second, the culture of parents drives early specialization: children should find their passion and parents should turn their lives upside down to support it.
Competitive sports and dance teams depend on this; Why would more families spend every minute waking up and giving up their vacation for a volleyball team? Many parents believe that this is their child’s path to a good future and a great university.
According to David Epstein’s excellent review of science in his book Range, “Sometimes the things you do that optimize your results in the short term can undermine long-term development.” Epstein says that pushing early specialization is the “cult of the early start,” because beliefs are so common that no one questions them.
In fact, most of the best, whether in athletics, business, medicine, or any other field, were late specialists. They found their passion in adulthood, having tried many different things.
When it comes to learning, children do better with extensive experiences. These experiences allow them to make connections holistically, in mind and body.
And children who are only allowed to move. a little in childhood is more likely to become innovative and great triumphs in adulthood. Supporting Your Young Success While you’ll need a book to cover everything parents need to deal with in today’s confusing culture, there are some key elements that can support a child’s development toward later achievement.
Create a family culture of openness to experience. Instead of making the child’s early successes or passions the center of the family’s priorities, emphasize your curiosity. When children seek curiosity more than results, they engage in high-interest learning of the kind that high-performing adults consider key to their success.
Recent research finds that the key personality trait associated with gifted learners is openness to the experience or aspect of personality associated with curiosity, creativity, and imagination.
“Openness to experience is a key component of intelligence, contributing to creativity and the ability to consider multiple options and perspectives to approach life, solve problems, and understand complex situations,” writes Dr. Grant Hilary.
Brenner in his article on the study. What children were curious about during childhood often helps them find their passion as adults. getty According to Scientific American, “Experiments in personality psychology show that open-minded people process information in different ways and can literally see the world differently from the average person.”
And that is a key feature of great success. Although personality is partly genetic, research shows that it is possible to change personality. Parents can cultivate openness in children by exploring many activities for both the children individually and for the family.
As children get older, family meals may include times of “interesting ideas,” where family members share their own ideas or what they have learned about other cultures.
And don’t forget to constantly send a message that the value of children comes from who they are and who they love. No factor has been associated more with growing up in adulthood than growing up with the feeling that your parents love you.
Internal Motivation In combination with openness and curiosity, few things can matter more to the success of the best than internal motivation. Make a successful person work where they are motivated and can achieve the impossible.
But how does this work in childhood? U.S. public schools have a duty to provide a solid education, but they have no obligation to help anyone reach their full potential. Many schools are full of teachers and counselors who consider a child’s potential, but legal mandates are the guiding principle.
This means that children are more accustomed to schools focusing on making them aware of their weaknesses. And parents tend to follow suit. But when parents create a family culture that plays with the child’s strengths, the impact on the child’s confidence is immeasurable. Think about what your child is interested in.
What do you spend hours doing when you don’t have to do anything else? Kids who love legos can enjoy a Lego Robotics team.
Is there anything they’ve been asking for to try but haven’t had time for because of their current activities? Maybe it’s time to drop something so they have time in rock school and learn electric guitar.
Or ask your friends to see what music they can create with household items.
The idea that our children will “find their passion” at the age of seven and a half is as unlikely as disturbing a healthy family balance. But helping our children explore all their passions without worrying about success could be the inspiration for this adult passion that drives them to change the world.