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Discussing parenting with your spouse

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All spouses disagree at times, especially when there are children in the family. Your daughter wants to go to the mall with her friends. She really wants to go. But your spouse says he can’t go because he arrived last night ten minutes after the curfew.

You think this is insensitive. Or maybe it’s just the opposite. Your spouse gave in, ignored the consequence, and told him he could go. You think this has no backbone. How do you argue your point?

Since you both want the best for your child, here are some ideas to remember before you start talking about anything related to parenting with your spouse. Not in front of children One of the few rigid rules in parenting. Nothing will be gained by arguing in front of children.

Children need their parents to provide them with security. They feel safe when their mother and father work together as a team, as a unit. When they see their parents arguing, they feel insecure.

Don’t do this to your children. Most decisions can wait. Tell your daughter that you need to think about her trip to the mall. Go to a different room and discuss the issue. Back up your spouse If your spouse has already told your daughter that he or she can (or can’t) go to the mall, swallow hard, bite your tongue, and say nothing.

Connect with your community every morning. Always back up your spouse, even if you disagree with his or her decision. In general, whether or not your daughter goes to the mall will not change her life.

But seeing that your parents disagree will negatively affect your daughter’s emotional well-being and can have long-term consequences. Act as a united team. Of course, once your daughter leaves the scene, you can talk to your spouse about what rules you expect your daughter to follow and what your policy should be if you don’t follow them.

Respect and Commitment Now that you are alone, you and your spouse are ready to talk about parenting. Conversations about parenting should follow the same rules as all conversations with your spouse.

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. Don’t blame or blame. It’s not your spouse’s fault that your child was punished at school, didn’t follow house rules, or punched his or her tongue. Respectful conversation focuses on practical plans for the future: what will we do now?

What punishments or rewards should we give our children? Are there any rules we need to follow? What can we do to strengthen our relationship with our children? Remember that commitment is inevitable and important. No matter how wonderful your marriage is, you and your spouse have grown up differently and have different opinions.

One tends to be stricter and one tends to be looser. You need to think about a policy that you both agree on. One spouse thinks your daughter should be able to go to the mall and the other thinks you shouldn’t let her go.

Maybe you can drop it this time with a warning? Tell him you noticed that the curfew arrived a few minutes late yesterday and that you will not overlook another such offence. Or maybe you won’t let her go to the mall, but she’ll let you invite friends.

Ultimately, this decision will not make such a big difference in your child’s life. What will make the difference is the fact that you and your spouse present as a united team and that you model respectful and supportive behaviour.

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Does your child climb out of the crib? Here’s what you can do to prevent it

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When your child is 1 year old, your home will become an adventure camp! Sometimes you may find your child opening drawers, grabbing what is in his or her hands, moving up and down the couch, and even lowering the crib. When this happens, parents start worrying about whether they should put their babies to sleep with them to avoid injury or to watch them day and night.

Before making important changes, such as buying a large bed for your 15- to 18-month-old baby, think about how you can handle this situation. Your child may be jailbroken, but you can easily overcome them! Here are some ways to keep your baby out of the crib: Use these tips for a good night’s sleep. (Representative image / Pexels) Lower the mattress It is best to lower the crib mattress to the lowest possible point or close to the floor until your baby learns to stand up.

Your toddler will not be able to get up from the crib railing, as lowering the mattress will prevent it from falling. Make sure there is no furniture near the crib, as your child may use it as a support for lowering. This can help at least for a while. Use sleeping bags Some children may start to get out of the crib as early as 8-9 months.

To prevent these natural climbers from getting hurt, you can use a sleeping bag (loose blankets that can be carried). Your baby will still be able to move his feet and arms, but will not be too comfortable to stand up and get out of the crib.

Establish a good bedtime routine If your child becomes restless in the middle of the night, it may be a sign that he is sleeping too early and needs a change in his bedtime routine. Watch when your baby is asleep after putting him in a crib. It may also be too late for your child to fall asleep, which makes him grumpy and exhausted. Because of this, they find it difficult to fall asleep quickly. You have to work according to your biological clock and find the best time to put them to sleep.

Place your baby in a crib for sleep only Stop using the crib to play or punish your baby if you do. If your child is not sleeping in a crib, it may give you a misconception about its use and you may also want to get out of it at night. Be sure to put them in the crib just for sleeping. Also, when your child is upset or irritated, take them out of the crib until they are back to normal.

Using the crib only for sleeping will give them a positive understanding of the designated sleeping area, which is not usually played. Remove objects such as toys If there are toys and pillows inside the crib, you should remove them, especially during the first year. These items can be augmented to try to get out of the crib.

At the same time, they can also be dangerous for the baby, as they can cause sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Therefore, make sure that the crib is not full of objects. Is your child ready for bed? If your child is 2 years old, this is the right time to go to bed, as he or she will surely be able to get through his or her crib. It can be a bit tricky to get a crib if your child is under 18 months old. If you have used all methods to prevent your child from getting out of the crib, you still have a bed as a last resort.

Do not change your bed abruptly if you see your baby getting out of bed. It can be scary and scary at first, but try some methods before you get a crib.

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Oliver, Kate Hudson experience a “conflict” over parenting styles

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Doing it differently! Oliver Hudson and Kate Hudson are only three years apart, but the siblings have completely opposite tactics when it comes to raising their children. Although the co-hosts of the “Sibling Revelry” podcast “haven’t had much of a fight … as adults,” Oliver, 45, told Andy Cohen on Thursday, Jan. 6 that they experience “conflicts” over how they are parents. . “It’s more about kids,” said Rules of Engagement student, who is the father of Wilder, 14, of Bodhi, 11, and Rio, 8, with his wife Erinn Bartlett, during Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen. “I’m very loose, and she’s very strict.” The actress, 42, shares her son Ryder, 18, with ex-husband Chris Robinson, son Bingham, 10, with fiancé Matt Bellamy, and daughter Rani, 3, with fiancé Danny Fujikawa . In March 2021, Oliver spoke exclusively to Us Weekly about his “different ideas” for raising his little ones. “Surely there is a core to wanting our children to be good human beings, to be educated and to understand that they are very lucky people to be born into the kind of family we were born into … but it’s a bit like us doing things “, explained the actor, who pointed out that they have a” close family link “. “What we let our children see, the freedoms we allow them. We are different that way.… If I need to talk, I will. She will too.” Oliver Hudson and Kate Hudson at the FL2 clothing launch in New York on June 4, 2015. Kristina Bumphrey / Starpix / ShutterstockThe Splitting Up Together student is considered a “great uncle” for Ryder, Bingham and Rani, telling us in November of 2018. who believes that having fun is “the point” of nieces and nephews. “I let my kids see movies that I probably shouldn’t do, so when Kate’s kids come to my house, I’m sure they’re really excited because I let them see things that Kate won’t let them see.” dir Going Greek. said the star at that moment. “[It’s] worth the risk. You need an uncle to let them do things. “Although Goldie Hawn and Bill Hudson’s children rarely face each other when they are adults, they” fought hard “as children, Oliver told Cohen, 53. (Brothers also grew up with Hawn, 76, and Kurt Russell’s son, Wyatt Russell.) “She came out of the womb acting and acting and driving me crazy,” said the alum Scream Queens. ”[I’d be like], ‘Just calm down. Just stop. ‘ Then I stumbled upon it, pushed it and hit it and then it got tangled up and then got me in trouble. ”Moms Like Us addresses all your parenting questions and breaks down all the celebrity parenting news of the week.

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The best baby slings to keep your little one safe and secure

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Experience hands-free parenting with the addition of a baby cover. The amazing parenting accessory is a safe and convenient way to carry your baby while maximizing mobility, so you can join in while marking your to-do list. In addition to being very practical, baby slippers encourage bonding between parents and babies, bringing with you the strong need for affection and a sense of security. They’re also an easy way to spread the love hormone, oxytocin, because we could all use a little more warmth and confidence in our lives, small or large. What is a sling? with special features that can surround you and your baby, tying you both together. In general, a baby carrier does not have clips, buckles, or buttons like other baby carriers, but if it is tied properly, it is very secure and your baby will love being there (and will leave your hands free!). They are also a good choice for a newborn baby or a premature baby as they allow for a comfortable fit compared to structured baby carriers. Baby slippers should not be a simple and straightforward piece of fabric in any way, various brands make the baby slider a must-have fashion accessory for all parents. Dressed in irresistible patterns, from leopard to striped, baby slips can be paired with your outfits and keep you and your little one comfortable and fresh. To help you get started and start your baby clothes journey, we’ve covered everything you need to know. babies safely up to our best choices of the best baby slings. How to use your baby cover safely. baby very tied up. You need to be able to check your baby regularly to make sure he is comfortable and safe. Try the “kiss test”: If you can kiss your baby’s head, you’re in the right position. The best position for your baby is on the chest, and with good support for your back, neck and hips. Dr. Rosie Knowles is a GP, transportation consultant, author of Why Babywearing Matters and mother of two; carryingmatters.co.uk recommends following the TICKS security rule. • T is for Tight. Your baby carrier should be well-adjusted to make sure it holds your baby in a safe position. • And be visible at all times. Make sure you can see your baby’s face clearly so you can easily check. • C is close enough to kiss. You should be able to kiss the top of your baby’s head easily while on the carrier, but make sure he can still move his head freely. • K is to keep your chin off your chest. “Your chin should be out of the baby’s chest and airway open and unobstructed, and stay that way if the baby falls asleep,” says Rosie. • It’s for the back. “The cover should be tight so that the baby’s chest and back are well supported, without falling or sliding down,” says Rosie.SHOP: The Best Baby Sling for Safety and Lasting Comfort1 10 With its style, comfort and adaptability, the award-winning MOBY Classic Wrap is made from a soft, durable 100% cotton fabric that gives this parent favorite the perfect curl for babies, toddlers and toddlers. The versatile MOBY Wrap offers multiple carrying positions as your baby grows, as well as a one-size-fits-all size for parents and caregivers, making it the perfect carrier for fostering bonding during the baby’s developmental stages. . : machine washable2 of 10 baby slings from Freeerider Co. are made of the highest quality materials with styles you will love. With the ideal everyday, both fashionable and practical wrapper, you can keep your baby safe and secure throughout the day. It comes in a one-size-fits-all size and is designed to carry up to 35 pounds. You and your baby will be very happy with this choice. Notable Specifications Fit between: 8 – 30 lbs (approx. 3 – 13 kg) Maximum user weight: 30 lbs (approx. 13 kg) support, soft and light, and natural on baby’s skin. One-size-fits-all means it fits your growing baby, as well as different body shapes and genders, so both you and the baby are safe and comfortable. With a variety of colors and designs to choose from, AmaWrap is a great choice for trendy parents. Remarkable specifications Suitable from birth to 33 lbs Maximum user weight: 33 lbs (approx. 15 kg) Washing instructions: machine washable4 out of 10The Ergobaby Aura wrapper is easy to use and ideal for those who are new to use baby wrappers. The lightweight design means it’s comfortable, it’s also easy to tie, and you can relax knowing it has been recognized as a “hip-healthy” product by the International Institute of Hip Dysplasia. One size fits all for most parents, from small to large. Notable specifications Suitable for: 3.6 – 11.3 kg Max user weight: 11.3 kg Washing instructions: machine washable5 out of 10Super soft to the touch, the small cotton organic cotton baby carrier will fit the shape of your baby. body that gives you a wonderful fit. This one-size-fits-all option comes in multiple gorgeous prints, we can’t think of a better way to dress your little one in style. Notable specifications Suitable from: birth Maximum user weight: 25 lbs (approx. 11.3 kg) Washing instructions: machine washable6 out of 10Provides a natural and comfortable proximity during the first months of your baby to help feel safe, the Izmi Essential baby wrapper is as its name suggests: an essential item for every new parent. This very soft, supportive bamboo wrap is designed to distribute your baby’s weight evenly, reducing pressure on your back. It has two transport positions, including front transport and side transport facing parents, and is a very affordable option. Notable Specifications Eligible from: birth Max user weight: 9 kg Washing instructions: machine washable7 out of 10 The award-winning baby carrier Caboo + uses a soft, supportive organic fabric to Make sure it’s as comfortable for you as it is for to your baby, so it’s easy to use without laces or buckles. Ergonomically designed, it offers the ultimate support for your little one, with the optimal loading position from the baby and beyond. Remarkable specifications Suitable from birth (2.27 kg) Maximum user weight: 9 kg Washing instructions: machine washable8 of 10 Caboo is the original case reinvented. and has long been the UK’s favorite newborn carrier. Easy to use alone, it is worn over the head like a t-shirt, giving you all the great positioning, support and flexibility of an elastic wrap, but without the headache of tying. Once put on, it tightens to fit exactly the baby and carrier thanks to the smart rings. The soft wide straps make the transport more comfortable and allow you to tuck the little one’s head between the cheek and the chest when needed. one is a baby and later when they reach the stage of small child. The super flexible construction makes Flow one of the lightest soft wraps on the market, and the nylon / spandex blend combines wonderful side-to-side movement and support, while the taut vertical threads keep the baby in a carrying position. safe and ergonomic. It is highly recommended for babies and mothers after a cesarean section. Notable specifications Suitable from: 8 lbs (approx. 3.6 kg) Max user weight: 15 kg Washing instructions: machine washable10 out of 10This case is different from the others in this list in size ( instead of a one-size-fits-all design like many others). It is easy to use in different positions and for different ages. The only downside is that you can’t share it with your partner if it has a different body size than yours. The Baby K’tan baby carrier is quick and easy to carry, with no rings, belts, buckles or excess fabric. Just slide the baby cover over your head like a T-shirt. Remarkable specifications Suitable from: 3.6 kg Maximum user weight: 15.8 kg Washing instructions: Machine washable. Can I breastfeed my baby with a wrapper? it will only take a little practice and getting used to it. You can breastfeed in a vertical wrapper or in a more reclined position. Make sure your baby can breathe easily and be alert to any travel hazards that may obstruct your path. You need to support your baby at all times while feeding, but using a wrapper gives you more freedom overall. Some manufacturers may suggest that you do not feed it while using the slings, so be sure to check it first. How long can a baby stay in a wrapper? You can use your baby as much as you want, but we advise you to keep in mind the two-hour baby rule, which avoids keeping your baby in the same position for more than two hours, such as his spine. vertebral. it is still in development and it is important to keep changing its position. Unlike a more structured baby carrier, with a baby cover or wrapper you need to be a little more aware of your baby’s position.

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How to deal with your teenage daughter when she’s driving you crazy

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If you’re the mother of a teenage or preadolescent girl, it’s likely that you’ve been caught off guard by a provocative comment, harsh criticism, or overly personal question. Maybe it came out of nowhere. Or maybe it was thrown in the middle of an important discussion, which then stopped. Regardless, it’s probably clear to you that your daughter is a professional at pressing your buttons. It may have occurred to you, in fact, that his words have a unique effect on you.

You can feel them viscerally, almost like a punch that leaves you breathless or gasps. Decades of working with women and girls have convinced me that this is because teenagers are able to exquisitely detect mothers ’deepest sensibilities, take advantage of painful vulnerabilities or embarrassing memories, and raise issues too close to home.

Did your daughter ask you if you had ever smoked marijuana? How many people have you slept with? Why do you always change the subject when she talks about a particular topic? Or why are you “in pain” with a certain relative? Teenagers are wise when it comes to raising mirrors that increase our most glaring flaws. No wonder we react so strongly.

However, while we feel the impact of teens pushing our buttons, we recognize that the way we respond right now really matters. Every interaction with have with our teen or preadolescent becomes part of the fabric of our evolving relationship. When we are disturbed or hurt by our feelings, how we react shows whether we can trust ourselves to stay in control and act appropriately. As mothers, our job is to help them become more aware of their feelings and express them in a kind and direct way.

So while we may decide to ignore an occasional sarcophagus comment or a humorous insult, it’s up to us to know where our daughters’ provocations come from. Still, we are human. At this point, our first impulse may be to get angry, to put ourselves on the defensive, or worse, to go on the offensive. But if the goal is to create a strong, close mother-daughter relationship, these six strategies can help you respond in a more useful way.

Recognize the signs of activation. First, it is important to be aware of what your mind and body are experiencing. Everyone is different. Your reaction can be physical, emotional, or behavioral, ranging from mild to volcanic. You may feel dizzy, angry, nervous, sweaty, or speechless. Or you may hear words that are beginning to come out of your mouth that are not characteristic, or that may sound like you are channeling someone you would least like to emulate. This finding can be a gentle but firm reminder to pause before doing anything else.

Take your emotional temperature. This is a good time to assess how emotionally active you are. If the push of your daughter’s button aroused a feeling of fear or risk, stress hormones probably flooded your brain, activating your fight or flight response and sending your frontal lobes paused.

To make sure you can think clearly, empathize, and use good judgment, do what works best (e.g., deep breathing, meditation, a distracting activity) to calm your central nervous system. Postpone conversations. Although it may seem urgent to respond to your daughter’s provocation, it’s best to wait until your central nervous system has calmed down so that your reasoning brain can be in line again.

Instead of dismissing or denying his comment, he responds in an affectionate and respectful manner, encouraging the conversation, saying, “This is a good question. Let me think about it and I’ll answer you.” talk more when you find out how to explain how I feel ”or“ Let’s talk about it on Saturday when I leave work, so we won’t rush ”.

Maintain emotional control. As an adult, you are in charge of managing your feelings when you talk to your teen. To avoid torpedoing conversations, keeping them together is key. In this way, you are shaping how to respect each other and focus on resolving conflicts even in the midst of disturbing discussions.

When your daughter does what you consider an outrageous accusation, for example, saying, “Please tell me when you felt this way” is preferable to “When did I ever do it? How dare you!” Share information carefully. The exquisitely sensitive antennae of the girls capture the duplicity of the mothers. That is, they can smell a lie from afar.

If you want your child to tell you the truth, it’s best not to miss it. Young adults whose parents lied to them as children are more dishonest and have more adjustment problems now that they are older. But it is not necessary or prudent to reflexively tell the whole truth to your daughter.

Consider what is best for your age, emotional maturity, and needs in this situation. You can say, “I’m uncomfortable talking about this with you. But that’s what I can tell you …” or “We can talk more about it when you’re a little older.” Know when to stop talking. You don’t want to let things get in the way. In fact, it feels good to take things out of our chest, clean the air and decide to do better in the future.

But despite these desires, adolescents and preadolescents often do not yet have the emotional stamina to hold on to awkward conversations long enough to overcome the conflict. If you see that the discussions deviate from the topic, turn into intolerable insults or oaths, or just go nowhere, your daughter may be overwhelmed. If so, give her a chance to get emotionally charged by suggesting “Let’s take a break” or “Why don’t we have a snack?” or “What if we take this again when we both feel calmer?”

These six strategies will not stop your daughter from pushing your buttons. And they certainly won’t stop you from being surprised or shocked by something she says. But having these specific and practical actions in your parenting repertoire can help you manage these difficult situations with the utmost confidence, grace, and effectiveness. Adapted from Anything But My Phone, Mom! Raising emotionally resilient daughters in the digital age.

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The Difference between preadolescent and preadolescent

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There is a small difference between the phrases tween and preadolescent, but it is not big. Whichever expression you use, it will apply to children who are no longer young children but are not yet teenagers. Teenagers have a hard line and are considered teenagers from 13 to 19 years old. The preadolescent and preadolescent years are a time of change and transition for both children and parents.

Children in this age group are no longer “small,” but they still need a lot of mom and dad. They are not yet ready to be more independent at home when they are teenagers, but they are succeeding. It is a change, but of course the natural process of things. The mother may have more difficulty with this than the child.

As your child grows, so will your parenting. Preteens and preadolescents have different needs than young children, and as a parent, it can take a while to find a new groove. When are the preadolescent and preadolescent years? Via Pexels These childhood years mean that pre-puberty is here and full puberty is near. 8-year-old girls and 9-year-old boys begin to show signs of puberty.

There does not appear to be a clear age range for preadolescent children. Some say that children between the ages of 10 and 12 are preadolescents, while others say that these years begin at the age of 8 and 9 and up to the age of 12. The phrase tween comes from these children who are not young children but are not teenagers.

They’re in the middle, do you understand? The two phases are used interchangeably and really have no difference. It all comes down to personal preferences. The use of the words tween and preadolescent means the same thing and refers to the same age group of children. The only difference seems to be that sometimes the phrase interpolation is used more for those on the younger end of the preadolescent spectrum, such as 8- and 9-year-olds.

Preadolescents are those who are 10, 11 and 12 years old. Again, there is no clear definition, and using either works well. RELATED: 5 Ways to Help Kids Get Smooth in High School Healthline described these preadolescent years as “transformers” for everyone involved. As a parent, you will see both physical and behavioral changes.

Here are some signs that your sweet child is now more preadolescent: acting more rebellious at home, needing more sleep on weekends and school holidays, a new shift in hobbies and interests, starting to be afraid to feel ashamed , seem more emotional, and new concerns about how they look and how they are perceived.

Physical changes are also taking place. Both boys and girls will start to grow taller, lose all baby teeth, begin to develop more body hair, and may even begin to develop acne. Girls will start to have small breast attacks and may even start menstruating. Your preteen is likely to come to you with questions about their changing bodies and you should answer them honestly.

What does your preadolescent need? Preteens need empathy and understanding. As our children grow older, so do their problems. These preadolescent years can be difficult to navigate and with them and all their peers changing, there will surely be problems of friendship at school and areas where they need more support.

Very Well Family reminds parents not to control their preadolescent during these formative years. That’s when kids start to develop their own personality even further. Just be there for them and don’t control them. Source: Very Well Family, Healthline, Child Mind Institute Mother’s post on what preadolescent girls should do goes viral A mother went to Facebook to show what she thinks 12-year-old girls should do and her message it went viral and gained a lot of support.

Read more About the Author Larissa Marulli (635 articles published) Larissa Marulli is the mother of two young school-age children. She graduated in journalism shortly before having her first child and is a news and report writer for Moms. The proud mother of two is from Colorado and loves the mountains. seasonal changes and hot coffee all year round.

Larissa has seen it all and struggled with the challenges of motherhood. With age he is getting better and he is proud to use the written word to entertain others and also to educate. Larissa loves books, naps, small doses, and family.

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Parents with teenage girls and what you need to know about Instagram

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Many parents don’t need to read Meta’s internal research to know that Instagram can be toxic to teens. People who identify as women are especially susceptible to content that triggers depression or body image problems. Following a September Wall Street Journal article that revealed that Meta (formerly known as Facebook and Instagram’s parent company) was aware of the negative impact of Instagram on teens, the social media giant he stated that his internal investigation was taken out of context.

However, last week, Instagram CEO Adam Mosseri testified before a Senate subcommittee to address questions from lawmakers about the effect of the application on the mental health of its young users. Related story Madonna’s 6 children gathered for a winter photo of the whole family – see Lourdes Leon, her twins and more Instagram seems worried: the day before the hearing,

Mosseri posted a long post on blog detailing the new features that Instagram plans to launch next spring to make the app safer for teens, including a stricter approach to recommended content types, encouraging users not to pause too long on any theme and tools for parents to get more involved in their children’s social media experience.

As is customary in our increasingly high-tech world, many adults are making decisions about what is best for children. But what would teenage girls (especially their parents) really know about Instagram? And what advice do you give to children who are just starting to use the app? SheKnows interviewed 10 teenagers in the United States to get their honest, uncensored view of Instagram. (Instagram did not immediately respond to SheKnows’ request for comment).

Preteens and adolescents are especially vulnerable to body image problems. While Instagram requires users to be at least 13 years old, most of the teens we spoke with admitted to creating their accounts as preteens, and only one was 10 years old! And during those challenging high school years, Instagram made them feel like they weren’t up to par.

“I’m very aware of how I look, so when I see other people posting pictures where they look great, I feel less than that, which is pretty toxic to me in general,” says Natalie, a 14-year-old New York, New York. “Swimsuit ads will appear and it’s always the same body type, usually a slim blonde girl.” Instagram ads and recommended content also often lead to feelings of inferiority. “When I started on Instagram, I saw a lot of posts about diets and what to eat to have the perfect body, but now I’ve blocked a lot of them,” says Melody, a 13-year-old Queens girl. , New York.

Meanwhile, Shannon, a 14-year-old from Brooklyn, New York, complains about Instagram’s lack of body (and ethnic) diversity. “Swimsuit ads will show up and it’s always the same body type, usually a slim blonde girl,” she says. Users can bypass Instagram algorithms by hiding suggested ads and posts. But that puts teenagers in charge of doing the work of curating the content they are being offered.

Of course, as Sophia, 13, of Saratoga Springs, New York, points out, Instagram isn’t the only place teens feed on perfect-bodied nonsense. “It’s everywhere, on all media in general, not just on social media, like billboards, posters, and ads,” he says. The pressure to accumulate likes and followers is real. All the teens who spoke to us and mentioned the stress of counting their likes and followers and comparing their numbers to that of their peers.

“Half of my friends buy their fans and likes,” says Milla, a 16-year-old from Marshfield, Massachusetts. Many have experimented with hiding their similar counts, hoping not to compete. But there is still pressure from peers to keep these statistics public. “It’s very dirty,” says Maggie, a 15-year-old from Charleston, South Carolina.

“One of my best friends was in a photo back home with me that I posted, and she said, ‘Why would you close your likes?’ I said it didn’t matter. same photo and it kept bothering me to compare our tastes “. “Half of my friends buy their followers and likes.” You never know what you’ll find on the Explore page Because the content shown on the Explore page of the app is created by accounts that users don’t follow, what often appears is crap.

While many teens acknowledged that they found “inspiration” in this section, Milla warns, “You don’t know what you’re going to find; you can’t really control it. So there’s a risk. It can be triggering.” Instagram can be a waste of time, so it’s important to set boundaries. Teens reported that they had posted on Instagram when they needed a distraction or break with responsibilities.

“Excessive use of social media is not usually the root of all ills for a teenager, but a way to deal with and disconnect from personal and academic stress that ends up doing more harm than good,” he says. Reed, 16. old man from Princeton, New Jersey. “Don’t blame a teen’s struggles on social media, but recognize that you can limit yourself to more physical and interactive activities that can make your child happier.”

Sometimes teens will only be on Instagram for a minute, and then leave hours later. Some teens admitted that they deleted all of their content or even the entire app temporarily because it drained their time and emotions. “I deleted it for about a year in the summer before the eighth,” says Milla. “It felt great not to always have that pressure in the back of my mind. Then I lowered it again the summer before high school.”

Instagram has launched a Take a Break tool that encourages users to relax once they have been away for a while. But it only counts the consecutive minutes spent on the app, the missing teens coming in and out of Instagram. Instagram has its flaws, but other social networking apps are worse Although all teens had complaints about Instagram, everyone said other apps are even more dangerous. “It’s definitely not as toxic as other parts of the Internet,” says Shannon.

Several interviewees mentioned their love for VSCO, a competing photo-sharing app that has no likes, comments, or followers. “It’s a lot more fun and carefree than Instagram,” says Maggie. But Instagram has hundreds of millions more users. That said, Instagram is still losing ground with teens. All interviewees reported spending exponentially more time on TikTok and Snapchat.

“TikTok is a lot more time consuming because I can lie in bed and entertain myself with it for hours,” says Alice, an 18-year-old in Providence, Rhode Island. “With Instagram, I can’t entertain myself for more than five or ten minutes!” Right now, some teens are just using Instagram as their messaging app. “I spend a lot of time talking to DMs with friends,” says Autumn, 18, in Poughkeepsie, New York. “Sometimes I think about taking a break, but it’s also the main way to keep in touch with people.”

Remember, Instagram is a corporation that puts its interests ahead of its users. Fronia, a 19-year-old from Houston, Texas, is very cynical — or perhaps expert — when it comes to Instagram. In addition to having a personal Instagram account, he has managed branded accounts for a local theater company and his university, and sees how algorithms make users addicted.

“When it comes to these apps, it’s always important to keep in mind that they’re big business,” he says. “I think teens can use Instagram in a healthy way to keep in touch with friends and have a good time. But keep in mind what’s going on behind the scenes. Instagram is trying to make money with you, and yes that means exploding the minds of young children, they will. ” These celebrities were honest with their kids about racism.

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Be a more balanced parent in 2022

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At this time of year, many of us decide to improve our lives and those of those around us. For some of us, making “physical” promises can make us decide to be more active, learn a new skill, or acquire a new hobby. For others, it may be about making “mental commitments” such as having more patience, being more empathetic, or expressing more love.

But who among us wouldn’t want to commit to learning more about parenting and communicating with our children as they continue their journey into adulthood? There is a seemingly endless supply of headlines that promote the latest parenting styles of popular culture.

And there is no shortage of celebrities and parenting enthusiasts advocating for the latest and greatest approach. You may have heard terms such as free parents, helicopter, drone, tiger, or even unicorn. While each parenting style has its own pros and cons, one in particular stands the test of time: balanced parenting.

How to Be a Balanced Parent A balanced father offers a lot of love and support to his children. They achieve a balance between warmth and rules. They give young people the freedom to make their own decisions, but they do not hesitate to intervene when the situation requires it. They prioritize open and honest communication, set reasonable boundaries, and encourage respectful behavior.

I refer to this style as parenting. Parents serve as a stable force on the coast, guiding their children to safety and preparing them to sail alone in the waves and choppy waters. Now, you may be wondering, “How do I apply this approach to my own child?” As an example, let’s look at how this style supports school success.

While parents at the lighthouse can sometimes celebrate their young person’s academic achievements, they also offer support and comfort when they fail. They help their children learn from mistakes and recover, correct problematic behaviors when needed, and set clear expectations for their effort.

This balance of love and care with rules and boundaries helps young people learn responsibility and consequences and increases their motivation and confidence. It also makes them more open to parental guidance and more likely to make responsible decisions on their own. Balanced parenting and brain development Parents play a vital role in young people’s lives.

A balanced approach is one of the best ways to support teen brain development. Teenagers have very active reward centers looking for new sensations. They need to test boundaries to maximize learning and development. Parents can provide boundaries to allow for safe exploration.

Rules are most effective when young people understand that they exist to protect them and not control them. Enforcing rules while keeping communication open and showing love is the best recipe for a well-adapted and resilient young adult. Balanced parenting works It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the parenting tips out there today. Rest assured that decades of research demonstrate balanced work for parents.

Studies show that parents who use a balanced approach with their teens saw better school performance, higher self-esteem, better mental health, less drug use, safer driving behavior, later and safer initiation. of sex and less violence. Young people with balanced parents tend to be healthier and better prepared for adulthood.

Other parenting styles tend to fall at opposite ends of the spectrum. Some focus on loving affection and others are more concerned with fostering independence. Some prioritize rules and obedience, while others take a freer approach.

It is also important to recognize that there are parenting styles across the spectrum that are deeply rooted in the cultural values ​​and experiences of the community. Each young person will have specific needs, and each family will have different circumstances. A balanced approach allows parents to build on their own strengths and incorporate new skills to ensure the best possible outcomes for their children.

This New Year’s Eve – Decide to Find Your Balance As you enter the new year, think of ways to integrate a balanced parenting approach into your own family. Think about how you handle essential conversations with your teens and how you communicate expectations and enforce rules.

Remember that the best way to help your child navigate the choppy waters on their own is to prepare them at home. There will be times when parenting is easy and other times when it feels like a challenge. But deciding to be a more balanced parent is a resolution that can benefit the whole family for years to come.

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Parenting News

10 boredom killers for kids during school holidays

Mom, Lisa shares her 10 family activities to combat boredom for kids of all ages who complain that they get bored during the school holidays. After a long year of border closures, confinements and our usual shared custody, our mixed family has finally been able to spend some time together.

Between me, yours and ours, a life we ​​live, my fiancé and I share four children from nine months to 14 years old, all boys. It’s not easy to find an activity to please everyone, especially with a baby thrown into the mix these days. Here are some tried and tested activities that families can use to keep the whole tribe entertained and keep the moans to a minimum (let’s be real that we can. be happy, at least for a while) .

Make this school vacation memorable

1. A trip to the beach What would be a list of summer activities without a suggestion to go to the beach? is a sure hit for all ages, be sure to pack a shade, sunscreen and rash for the whole family, and put yourself in a bucket and shovel to keep the little ones entertained.

2. family bike ride Take some wheels and faith It’s a walk. Scooters, bicycles, helmets and your set. Most suburbs have bike lanes or small bomb lanes for children. Have older kids teach younger ones how to do it, maybe even teach them to ride without training wheels. A great bonding experience for all.

3. Make some bakery Who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies or chocolate cake? Get the older kids to help the little ones and you’ll have a great bonding experience for everyone. Just make sure you take it easy with the mess; let them lick the beaters and carry the flour everywhere, that’s part of the fun.

4. Plan a movie night at home Unfortunately, we did not have the summer we requested. There is a lot of rain. Get ready for a rainy day with a great home movie night, also safe for COVID. You can grab some movie-style popcorn bags for almost anything online, and if you want to do it all, there are party-style movie-themed decorations you can put on. If you want it to be even more fun, give the kids Monopoly money and they should “buy” all their drinks and food for the show. Source: supplied. RELATED: Backyard Craft Ideas for School Holidays

5. Participate in a water game Whether it’s a watering can, a sprinkler or a water game Slip N Slide makes everyone happy and entertained on these long, hot summer days. If you’re lucky, you might find yourself in a situation like mine: I bought a water slide for Christmas. It was a “children’s slide” and was marketed for ages 4-8. I got it for the little ones in the hopes that the older kids would help the baby on the slide. We move quickly to the day we opened it and, my God, this thing is the size of a slide in a water park. Suffice it to say that it has kept everyone entertained for hours on hot days – older kids and mom and dad included. The best accidental purchase ever.

6. Making a time capsule Time capsules were always fun when I was little. In first grade, I did one that said I would be a hairdresser and that I got married at 21 years old. None of this happened. As a family, you can make a long-term capsule or just a ‘start to 2022’ capsule that you can open on New Year’s Eve. Each child can choose something to add to the capsule and anyone can write a letter to open it. A current photo of each child is a great addition so they can see how much they have grown when they open it. You will be amazed at how even older children can be invested when they learn about themselves.

7. Walking in the woods While hiking in the heat doesn’t seem too appealing, listen to me. Australia has some of the best waterfalls around. Take a look at the net to find some nearby ones. Pack your family with decent shoes, and a backpack of supplies for the day and discover what your local walks can offer. I promise you will find some hidden gems and teens will love how worthy they are of Instagram.

8. Take a historical walk. If COVID has taught us anything, it is the benefit of a stay. And there’s no better way to learn about your hometown than a walking tour. Some cities offer historical walking tours or, better yet, get older kids to research online and plan a walking route. Finish off with a nice coffee or beach to relax with the family. Take the local road! Source: supplied.

9. Visit the zoo or aquarium. Old favorite I know, but for some reason, they are the favorites. Kids love animals. A great day trip is to a local zoo or aquarium. Older kids could enjoy an animal experience, my teens were thrilled to have snakes and alligators in a reptile park earlier this year. The little ones love everything and will no doubt crash into the car at home; just make sure you stay safe from COVID.

10. Have a family picnic in the park After a year without being with your loved ones, get back to basics. Invite the extended family (if they are close enough) and have a picnic in the park. An easy barbecue, some grilling in the park and the whole family is happy again!

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Parenting News

Books for parents with LGBTQ children

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As parents, we are committed to loving our children no matter what. We love them through the terrible two, we love them as they enter their teens, and we love them through every decision they make. However, there are times when we also stumble and have our own emotions about the things our children do or say, and sometimes parents struggle with things like diagnosing a disability or a child who “has to leave “.

After all, our children are still worthy of love, and these books can help a parent whose son has just come out as an LGBTQ +. RELATED: LGBTQ + children thrive mentally with accepted parents 7 This is a book for parents of gay children by Danielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo This is a great first purchase for any parent who knows nothing about the LGBTQIA + community.

It is full of basic community information, provided in a question-and-answer format that flows very well. According to BookRiot, it also includes real-life examples of LGBTQ + children and their parents, which can really help parents connect and understand the issues a little more. If reading isn’t your forte, don’t worry.

The authors also include timely lists of information, easy-to-read graphics, and chapter summaries. Available on Amazon: $ 18.95 6 Coming Out, Coming Home by Michael LaSala Via Shutterstock In this highly recommended book by PFLAG, LaSala shares the best research-supported interventions for families as they begin their journey after your son “comes out.”

In this amazing text, LaSala offers suggestions for parents suffering from depression, anxiety, and grief with the news, as well as helpful tips for re-establishing a meaningful connection between parents and LGBTQIA + children. This time of transition can be difficult for any family, but LaSala assures parents that many families end up closer than ever once they process the news. With this text as a guide, families can better communicate and understand each other.

Available on Amazon: $ 30.95  The Gender Creative Child by Diane Ehrensaft This incredibly comprehensive resource explains why gender can be fluid rather than just binary. Throughout the text, Ehrensaft shares how biology, education, and culture can shape a child’s gender identity in a way that parents can understand. It also encourages caregivers to listen to and support their children as they discover who they are. Experts and people in the LGBTQ + community agree that this is a must-read for parents of transgender children with a gender expansion. Easy to read, but full of information and support.

Available on Amazon: $ 11.58 4 Love, Ellen: A Mother / Daughter Journey by Betty DeGeneres In love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres shares her complicated story that took decades to unfold. From Ellen’s first conversation to the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, Betty covers everything in an identifiable and genuine way. This is an insightful, touching, and wise love story between mother and daughter. Throughout Betty’s story, many parents can find their own path to understanding and friendship with their LGBTQ + child.

Available on Amazon: $ 16.99 3 My Parenting Journey With an LGBTQ + Child by Cheryl B. Evans This interactive diary helps parents of LGBTQ + children to be honest and vulnerable through a series of journalistic instructions that encourage reflection . These cues can help you process your emotions, such as fear, pain, and anger, as well as help you find peace and understanding along the way. In fact, many parents benefit from relaxing, reflecting, and documenting what matters most to them. In addition to the more than 100 directions, it also includes activities, inspirational quotes, and curiosities that you can share with your child.

Available on Amazon: $ 13.99 2 Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin This book is full of personal accounts shared by six teens who identify as transgender or non-binary shared through a series of interviews, photographs, and personal narratives. According to POPSUGAR, it is full of happy transition stories, heartbreaking moments and everything in between. It is honest, raw and complete. This book has won awards and is considered an innovative work of LGBT literature. In fact, it’s a great book for parents and teens, and it could even be a story that the whole family reads together.

Available on Amazon: $ 12.99 1 The Social Justice Advocate’s Handbook: A Guide to Gender by Sam Killermann This book explains many of the gender terms that can cause parents to scratch their heads in confusion, such as genderfluid, non-binary, and queer. The text breaks things down in a way that makes it simple and anything but exhausting. It covers topics such as “breaking the track”, feminism / gender equality, social justice and gender. While this text does not fully clarify this, it is a great starting point for parents who want to learn more about their children. Oh, and 100% of the copyright goes directly to Hues, a global justice collective.

Available on Amazon: $ 16.95 Many parents have no idea what to do or say when their child leaves. However, these books can help you process your own feelings and have a better view of what your child is like. After all, the most important thing you can do for any child is to love them, no matter who they are. Sources: BookRiot, PFLAG, POPSUGAR How I Navigated the “Exit” Process with My Children Speaking to my children,

I learned that children do not judge our sexuality if you raise them in a way that promotes acceptance and individuality. Read more About the Author Megan Glosson (547 articles published) Megan Glosson is a mother and freelance writer based in Nashville, Tennessee. She enjoys writing about a variety of parenting topics, but loves to take on anything that has a personal connection to her own life. When she’s not writing, you’ll probably find Megan building Legos or playing board games with her two adorable daughters.