Elizabeth Jones

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If you’re the mother of a teenage or preadolescent girl, it’s likely that you’ve been caught off guard by a provocative comment, harsh criticism, or overly personal question. Maybe it came out of nowhere. Or maybe it was thrown in the middle of an important discussion, which then stopped. Regardless, it’s probably clear to you that your daughter is a professional at pressing your buttons. It may have occurred to you, in fact, that his words have a unique effect on you.

You can feel them viscerally, almost like a punch that leaves you breathless or gasps. Decades of working with women and girls have convinced me that this is because teenagers are able to exquisitely detect mothers ’deepest sensibilities, take advantage of painful vulnerabilities or embarrassing memories, and raise issues too close to home.

Did your daughter ask you if you had ever smoked marijuana? How many people have you slept with? Why do you always change the subject when she talks about a particular topic? Or why are you “in pain” with a certain relative? Teenagers are wise when it comes to raising mirrors that increase our most glaring flaws. No wonder we react so strongly.

However, while we feel the impact of teens pushing our buttons, we recognize that the way we respond right now really matters. Every interaction with have with our teen or preadolescent becomes part of the fabric of our evolving relationship. When we are disturbed or hurt by our feelings, how we react shows whether we can trust ourselves to stay in control and act appropriately. As mothers, our job is to help them become more aware of their feelings and express them in a kind and direct way.

So while we may decide to ignore an occasional sarcophagus comment or a humorous insult, it’s up to us to know where our daughters’ provocations come from. Still, we are human. At this point, our first impulse may be to get angry, to put ourselves on the defensive, or worse, to go on the offensive. But if the goal is to create a strong, close mother-daughter relationship, these six strategies can help you respond in a more useful way.

Recognize the signs of activation. First, it is important to be aware of what your mind and body are experiencing. Everyone is different. Your reaction can be physical, emotional, or behavioral, ranging from mild to volcanic. You may feel dizzy, angry, nervous, sweaty, or speechless. Or you may hear words that are beginning to come out of your mouth that are not characteristic, or that may sound like you are channeling someone you would least like to emulate. This finding can be a gentle but firm reminder to pause before doing anything else.

Take your emotional temperature. This is a good time to assess how emotionally active you are. If the push of your daughter’s button aroused a feeling of fear or risk, stress hormones probably flooded your brain, activating your fight or flight response and sending your frontal lobes paused.

To make sure you can think clearly, empathize, and use good judgment, do what works best (e.g., deep breathing, meditation, a distracting activity) to calm your central nervous system. Postpone conversations. Although it may seem urgent to respond to your daughter’s provocation, it’s best to wait until your central nervous system has calmed down so that your reasoning brain can be in line again.

Instead of dismissing or denying his comment, he responds in an affectionate and respectful manner, encouraging the conversation, saying, “This is a good question. Let me think about it and I’ll answer you.” talk more when you find out how to explain how I feel ”or“ Let’s talk about it on Saturday when I leave work, so we won’t rush ”.

Maintain emotional control. As an adult, you are in charge of managing your feelings when you talk to your teen. To avoid torpedoing conversations, keeping them together is key. In this way, you are shaping how to respect each other and focus on resolving conflicts even in the midst of disturbing discussions.

When your daughter does what you consider an outrageous accusation, for example, saying, “Please tell me when you felt this way” is preferable to “When did I ever do it? How dare you!” Share information carefully. The exquisitely sensitive antennae of the girls capture the duplicity of the mothers. That is, they can smell a lie from afar.

If you want your child to tell you the truth, it’s best not to miss it. Young adults whose parents lied to them as children are more dishonest and have more adjustment problems now that they are older. But it is not necessary or prudent to reflexively tell the whole truth to your daughter.

Consider what is best for your age, emotional maturity, and needs in this situation. You can say, “I’m uncomfortable talking about this with you. But that’s what I can tell you …” or “We can talk more about it when you’re a little older.” Know when to stop talking. You don’t want to let things get in the way. In fact, it feels good to take things out of our chest, clean the air and decide to do better in the future.

But despite these desires, adolescents and preadolescents often do not yet have the emotional stamina to hold on to awkward conversations long enough to overcome the conflict. If you see that the discussions deviate from the topic, turn into intolerable insults or oaths, or just go nowhere, your daughter may be overwhelmed. If so, give her a chance to get emotionally charged by suggesting “Let’s take a break” or “Why don’t we have a snack?” or “What if we take this again when we both feel calmer?”

These six strategies will not stop your daughter from pushing your buttons. And they certainly won’t stop you from being surprised or shocked by something she says. But having these specific and practical actions in your parenting repertoire can help you manage these difficult situations with the utmost confidence, grace, and effectiveness. Adapted from Anything But My Phone, Mom! Raising emotionally resilient daughters in the digital age.

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There is a small difference between the phrases tween and preadolescent, but it is not big. Whichever expression you use, it will apply to children who are no longer young children but are not yet teenagers. Teenagers have a hard line and are considered teenagers from 13 to 19 years old. The preadolescent and preadolescent years are a time of change and transition for both children and parents.

Children in this age group are no longer “small,” but they still need a lot of mom and dad. They are not yet ready to be more independent at home when they are teenagers, but they are succeeding. It is a change, but of course the natural process of things. The mother may have more difficulty with this than the child.

As your child grows, so will your parenting. Preteens and preadolescents have different needs than young children, and as a parent, it can take a while to find a new groove. When are the preadolescent and preadolescent years? Via Pexels These childhood years mean that pre-puberty is here and full puberty is near. 8-year-old girls and 9-year-old boys begin to show signs of puberty.

There does not appear to be a clear age range for preadolescent children. Some say that children between the ages of 10 and 12 are preadolescents, while others say that these years begin at the age of 8 and 9 and up to the age of 12. The phrase tween comes from these children who are not young children but are not teenagers.

They’re in the middle, do you understand? The two phases are used interchangeably and really have no difference. It all comes down to personal preferences. The use of the words tween and preadolescent means the same thing and refers to the same age group of children. The only difference seems to be that sometimes the phrase interpolation is used more for those on the younger end of the preadolescent spectrum, such as 8- and 9-year-olds.

Preadolescents are those who are 10, 11 and 12 years old. Again, there is no clear definition, and using either works well. RELATED: 5 Ways to Help Kids Get Smooth in High School Healthline described these preadolescent years as “transformers” for everyone involved. As a parent, you will see both physical and behavioral changes.

Here are some signs that your sweet child is now more preadolescent: acting more rebellious at home, needing more sleep on weekends and school holidays, a new shift in hobbies and interests, starting to be afraid to feel ashamed , seem more emotional, and new concerns about how they look and how they are perceived.

Physical changes are also taking place. Both boys and girls will start to grow taller, lose all baby teeth, begin to develop more body hair, and may even begin to develop acne. Girls will start to have small breast attacks and may even start menstruating. Your preteen is likely to come to you with questions about their changing bodies and you should answer them honestly.

What does your preadolescent need? Preteens need empathy and understanding. As our children grow older, so do their problems. These preadolescent years can be difficult to navigate and with them and all their peers changing, there will surely be problems of friendship at school and areas where they need more support.

Very Well Family reminds parents not to control their preadolescent during these formative years. That’s when kids start to develop their own personality even further. Just be there for them and don’t control them. Source: Very Well Family, Healthline, Child Mind Institute Mother’s post on what preadolescent girls should do goes viral A mother went to Facebook to show what she thinks 12-year-old girls should do and her message it went viral and gained a lot of support.

Read more About the Author Larissa Marulli (635 articles published) Larissa Marulli is the mother of two young school-age children. She graduated in journalism shortly before having her first child and is a news and report writer for Moms. The proud mother of two is from Colorado and loves the mountains. seasonal changes and hot coffee all year round.

Larissa has seen it all and struggled with the challenges of motherhood. With age he is getting better and he is proud to use the written word to entertain others and also to educate. Larissa loves books, naps, small doses, and family.

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Many parents don’t need to read Meta’s internal research to know that Instagram can be toxic to teens. People who identify as women are especially susceptible to content that triggers depression or body image problems. Following a September Wall Street Journal article that revealed that Meta (formerly known as Facebook and Instagram’s parent company) was aware of the negative impact of Instagram on teens, the social media giant he stated that his internal investigation was taken out of context.

However, last week, Instagram CEO Adam Mosseri testified before a Senate subcommittee to address questions from lawmakers about the effect of the application on the mental health of its young users. Related story Madonna’s 6 children gathered for a winter photo of the whole family – see Lourdes Leon, her twins and more Instagram seems worried: the day before the hearing,

Mosseri posted a long post on blog detailing the new features that Instagram plans to launch next spring to make the app safer for teens, including a stricter approach to recommended content types, encouraging users not to pause too long on any theme and tools for parents to get more involved in their children’s social media experience.

As is customary in our increasingly high-tech world, many adults are making decisions about what is best for children. But what would teenage girls (especially their parents) really know about Instagram? And what advice do you give to children who are just starting to use the app? SheKnows interviewed 10 teenagers in the United States to get their honest, uncensored view of Instagram. (Instagram did not immediately respond to SheKnows’ request for comment).

Preteens and adolescents are especially vulnerable to body image problems. While Instagram requires users to be at least 13 years old, most of the teens we spoke with admitted to creating their accounts as preteens, and only one was 10 years old! And during those challenging high school years, Instagram made them feel like they weren’t up to par.

“I’m very aware of how I look, so when I see other people posting pictures where they look great, I feel less than that, which is pretty toxic to me in general,” says Natalie, a 14-year-old New York, New York. “Swimsuit ads will appear and it’s always the same body type, usually a slim blonde girl.” Instagram ads and recommended content also often lead to feelings of inferiority. “When I started on Instagram, I saw a lot of posts about diets and what to eat to have the perfect body, but now I’ve blocked a lot of them,” says Melody, a 13-year-old Queens girl. , New York.

Meanwhile, Shannon, a 14-year-old from Brooklyn, New York, complains about Instagram’s lack of body (and ethnic) diversity. “Swimsuit ads will show up and it’s always the same body type, usually a slim blonde girl,” she says. Users can bypass Instagram algorithms by hiding suggested ads and posts. But that puts teenagers in charge of doing the work of curating the content they are being offered.

Of course, as Sophia, 13, of Saratoga Springs, New York, points out, Instagram isn’t the only place teens feed on perfect-bodied nonsense. “It’s everywhere, on all media in general, not just on social media, like billboards, posters, and ads,” he says. The pressure to accumulate likes and followers is real. All the teens who spoke to us and mentioned the stress of counting their likes and followers and comparing their numbers to that of their peers.

“Half of my friends buy their fans and likes,” says Milla, a 16-year-old from Marshfield, Massachusetts. Many have experimented with hiding their similar counts, hoping not to compete. But there is still pressure from peers to keep these statistics public. “It’s very dirty,” says Maggie, a 15-year-old from Charleston, South Carolina.

“One of my best friends was in a photo back home with me that I posted, and she said, ‘Why would you close your likes?’ I said it didn’t matter. same photo and it kept bothering me to compare our tastes “. “Half of my friends buy their followers and likes.” You never know what you’ll find on the Explore page Because the content shown on the Explore page of the app is created by accounts that users don’t follow, what often appears is crap.

While many teens acknowledged that they found “inspiration” in this section, Milla warns, “You don’t know what you’re going to find; you can’t really control it. So there’s a risk. It can be triggering.” Instagram can be a waste of time, so it’s important to set boundaries. Teens reported that they had posted on Instagram when they needed a distraction or break with responsibilities.

“Excessive use of social media is not usually the root of all ills for a teenager, but a way to deal with and disconnect from personal and academic stress that ends up doing more harm than good,” he says. Reed, 16. old man from Princeton, New Jersey. “Don’t blame a teen’s struggles on social media, but recognize that you can limit yourself to more physical and interactive activities that can make your child happier.”

Sometimes teens will only be on Instagram for a minute, and then leave hours later. Some teens admitted that they deleted all of their content or even the entire app temporarily because it drained their time and emotions. “I deleted it for about a year in the summer before the eighth,” says Milla. “It felt great not to always have that pressure in the back of my mind. Then I lowered it again the summer before high school.”

Instagram has launched a Take a Break tool that encourages users to relax once they have been away for a while. But it only counts the consecutive minutes spent on the app, the missing teens coming in and out of Instagram. Instagram has its flaws, but other social networking apps are worse Although all teens had complaints about Instagram, everyone said other apps are even more dangerous. “It’s definitely not as toxic as other parts of the Internet,” says Shannon.

Several interviewees mentioned their love for VSCO, a competing photo-sharing app that has no likes, comments, or followers. “It’s a lot more fun and carefree than Instagram,” says Maggie. But Instagram has hundreds of millions more users. That said, Instagram is still losing ground with teens. All interviewees reported spending exponentially more time on TikTok and Snapchat.

“TikTok is a lot more time consuming because I can lie in bed and entertain myself with it for hours,” says Alice, an 18-year-old in Providence, Rhode Island. “With Instagram, I can’t entertain myself for more than five or ten minutes!” Right now, some teens are just using Instagram as their messaging app. “I spend a lot of time talking to DMs with friends,” says Autumn, 18, in Poughkeepsie, New York. “Sometimes I think about taking a break, but it’s also the main way to keep in touch with people.”

Remember, Instagram is a corporation that puts its interests ahead of its users. Fronia, a 19-year-old from Houston, Texas, is very cynical — or perhaps expert — when it comes to Instagram. In addition to having a personal Instagram account, he has managed branded accounts for a local theater company and his university, and sees how algorithms make users addicted.

“When it comes to these apps, it’s always important to keep in mind that they’re big business,” he says. “I think teens can use Instagram in a healthy way to keep in touch with friends and have a good time. But keep in mind what’s going on behind the scenes. Instagram is trying to make money with you, and yes that means exploding the minds of young children, they will. ” These celebrities were honest with their kids about racism.

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At this time of year, many of us decide to improve our lives and those of those around us. For some of us, making “physical” promises can make us decide to be more active, learn a new skill, or acquire a new hobby. For others, it may be about making “mental commitments” such as having more patience, being more empathetic, or expressing more love.

But who among us wouldn’t want to commit to learning more about parenting and communicating with our children as they continue their journey into adulthood? There is a seemingly endless supply of headlines that promote the latest parenting styles of popular culture.

And there is no shortage of celebrities and parenting enthusiasts advocating for the latest and greatest approach. You may have heard terms such as free parents, helicopter, drone, tiger, or even unicorn. While each parenting style has its own pros and cons, one in particular stands the test of time: balanced parenting.

How to Be a Balanced Parent A balanced father offers a lot of love and support to his children. They achieve a balance between warmth and rules. They give young people the freedom to make their own decisions, but they do not hesitate to intervene when the situation requires it. They prioritize open and honest communication, set reasonable boundaries, and encourage respectful behavior.

I refer to this style as parenting. Parents serve as a stable force on the coast, guiding their children to safety and preparing them to sail alone in the waves and choppy waters. Now, you may be wondering, “How do I apply this approach to my own child?” As an example, let’s look at how this style supports school success.

While parents at the lighthouse can sometimes celebrate their young person’s academic achievements, they also offer support and comfort when they fail. They help their children learn from mistakes and recover, correct problematic behaviors when needed, and set clear expectations for their effort.

This balance of love and care with rules and boundaries helps young people learn responsibility and consequences and increases their motivation and confidence. It also makes them more open to parental guidance and more likely to make responsible decisions on their own. Balanced parenting and brain development Parents play a vital role in young people’s lives.

A balanced approach is one of the best ways to support teen brain development. Teenagers have very active reward centers looking for new sensations. They need to test boundaries to maximize learning and development. Parents can provide boundaries to allow for safe exploration.

Rules are most effective when young people understand that they exist to protect them and not control them. Enforcing rules while keeping communication open and showing love is the best recipe for a well-adapted and resilient young adult. Balanced parenting works It’s easy to get overwhelmed with all the parenting tips out there today. Rest assured that decades of research demonstrate balanced work for parents.

Studies show that parents who use a balanced approach with their teens saw better school performance, higher self-esteem, better mental health, less drug use, safer driving behavior, later and safer initiation. of sex and less violence. Young people with balanced parents tend to be healthier and better prepared for adulthood.

Other parenting styles tend to fall at opposite ends of the spectrum. Some focus on loving affection and others are more concerned with fostering independence. Some prioritize rules and obedience, while others take a freer approach.

It is also important to recognize that there are parenting styles across the spectrum that are deeply rooted in the cultural values ​​and experiences of the community. Each young person will have specific needs, and each family will have different circumstances. A balanced approach allows parents to build on their own strengths and incorporate new skills to ensure the best possible outcomes for their children.

This New Year’s Eve – Decide to Find Your Balance As you enter the new year, think of ways to integrate a balanced parenting approach into your own family. Think about how you handle essential conversations with your teens and how you communicate expectations and enforce rules.

Remember that the best way to help your child navigate the choppy waters on their own is to prepare them at home. There will be times when parenting is easy and other times when it feels like a challenge. But deciding to be a more balanced parent is a resolution that can benefit the whole family for years to come.

Mom, Lisa shares her 10 family activities to combat boredom for kids of all ages who complain that they get bored during the school holidays. After a long year of border closures, confinements and our usual shared custody, our mixed family has finally been able to spend some time together.

Between me, yours and ours, a life we ​​live, my fiancé and I share four children from nine months to 14 years old, all boys. It’s not easy to find an activity to please everyone, especially with a baby thrown into the mix these days. Here are some tried and tested activities that families can use to keep the whole tribe entertained and keep the moans to a minimum (let’s be real that we can. be happy, at least for a while) .

Make this school vacation memorable

1. A trip to the beach What would be a list of summer activities without a suggestion to go to the beach? is a sure hit for all ages, be sure to pack a shade, sunscreen and rash for the whole family, and put yourself in a bucket and shovel to keep the little ones entertained.

2. family bike ride Take some wheels and faith It’s a walk. Scooters, bicycles, helmets and your set. Most suburbs have bike lanes or small bomb lanes for children. Have older kids teach younger ones how to do it, maybe even teach them to ride without training wheels. A great bonding experience for all.

3. Make some bakery Who doesn’t like chocolate chip cookies or chocolate cake? Get the older kids to help the little ones and you’ll have a great bonding experience for everyone. Just make sure you take it easy with the mess; let them lick the beaters and carry the flour everywhere, that’s part of the fun.

4. Plan a movie night at home Unfortunately, we did not have the summer we requested. There is a lot of rain. Get ready for a rainy day with a great home movie night, also safe for COVID. You can grab some movie-style popcorn bags for almost anything online, and if you want to do it all, there are party-style movie-themed decorations you can put on. If you want it to be even more fun, give the kids Monopoly money and they should “buy” all their drinks and food for the show. Source: supplied. RELATED: Backyard Craft Ideas for School Holidays

5. Participate in a water game Whether it’s a watering can, a sprinkler or a water game Slip N Slide makes everyone happy and entertained on these long, hot summer days. If you’re lucky, you might find yourself in a situation like mine: I bought a water slide for Christmas. It was a “children’s slide” and was marketed for ages 4-8. I got it for the little ones in the hopes that the older kids would help the baby on the slide. We move quickly to the day we opened it and, my God, this thing is the size of a slide in a water park. Suffice it to say that it has kept everyone entertained for hours on hot days – older kids and mom and dad included. The best accidental purchase ever.

6. Making a time capsule Time capsules were always fun when I was little. In first grade, I did one that said I would be a hairdresser and that I got married at 21 years old. None of this happened. As a family, you can make a long-term capsule or just a ‘start to 2022’ capsule that you can open on New Year’s Eve. Each child can choose something to add to the capsule and anyone can write a letter to open it. A current photo of each child is a great addition so they can see how much they have grown when they open it. You will be amazed at how even older children can be invested when they learn about themselves.

7. Walking in the woods While hiking in the heat doesn’t seem too appealing, listen to me. Australia has some of the best waterfalls around. Take a look at the net to find some nearby ones. Pack your family with decent shoes, and a backpack of supplies for the day and discover what your local walks can offer. I promise you will find some hidden gems and teens will love how worthy they are of Instagram.

8. Take a historical walk. If COVID has taught us anything, it is the benefit of a stay. And there’s no better way to learn about your hometown than a walking tour. Some cities offer historical walking tours or, better yet, get older kids to research online and plan a walking route. Finish off with a nice coffee or beach to relax with the family. Take the local road! Source: supplied.

9. Visit the zoo or aquarium. Old favorite I know, but for some reason, they are the favorites. Kids love animals. A great day trip is to a local zoo or aquarium. Older kids could enjoy an animal experience, my teens were thrilled to have snakes and alligators in a reptile park earlier this year. The little ones love everything and will no doubt crash into the car at home; just make sure you stay safe from COVID.

10. Have a family picnic in the park After a year without being with your loved ones, get back to basics. Invite the extended family (if they are close enough) and have a picnic in the park. An easy barbecue, some grilling in the park and the whole family is happy again!

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As parents, we are committed to loving our children no matter what. We love them through the terrible two, we love them as they enter their teens, and we love them through every decision they make. However, there are times when we also stumble and have our own emotions about the things our children do or say, and sometimes parents struggle with things like diagnosing a disability or a child who “has to leave “.

After all, our children are still worthy of love, and these books can help a parent whose son has just come out as an LGBTQ +. RELATED: LGBTQ + children thrive mentally with accepted parents 7 This is a book for parents of gay children by Danielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo This is a great first purchase for any parent who knows nothing about the LGBTQIA + community.

It is full of basic community information, provided in a question-and-answer format that flows very well. According to BookRiot, it also includes real-life examples of LGBTQ + children and their parents, which can really help parents connect and understand the issues a little more. If reading isn’t your forte, don’t worry.

The authors also include timely lists of information, easy-to-read graphics, and chapter summaries. Available on Amazon: $ 18.95 6 Coming Out, Coming Home by Michael LaSala Via Shutterstock In this highly recommended book by PFLAG, LaSala shares the best research-supported interventions for families as they begin their journey after your son “comes out.”

In this amazing text, LaSala offers suggestions for parents suffering from depression, anxiety, and grief with the news, as well as helpful tips for re-establishing a meaningful connection between parents and LGBTQIA + children. This time of transition can be difficult for any family, but LaSala assures parents that many families end up closer than ever once they process the news. With this text as a guide, families can better communicate and understand each other.

Available on Amazon: $ 30.95  The Gender Creative Child by Diane Ehrensaft This incredibly comprehensive resource explains why gender can be fluid rather than just binary. Throughout the text, Ehrensaft shares how biology, education, and culture can shape a child’s gender identity in a way that parents can understand. It also encourages caregivers to listen to and support their children as they discover who they are. Experts and people in the LGBTQ + community agree that this is a must-read for parents of transgender children with a gender expansion. Easy to read, but full of information and support.

Available on Amazon: $ 11.58 4 Love, Ellen: A Mother / Daughter Journey by Betty DeGeneres In love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres shares her complicated story that took decades to unfold. From Ellen’s first conversation to the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, Betty covers everything in an identifiable and genuine way. This is an insightful, touching, and wise love story between mother and daughter. Throughout Betty’s story, many parents can find their own path to understanding and friendship with their LGBTQ + child.

Available on Amazon: $ 16.99 3 My Parenting Journey With an LGBTQ + Child by Cheryl B. Evans This interactive diary helps parents of LGBTQ + children to be honest and vulnerable through a series of journalistic instructions that encourage reflection . These cues can help you process your emotions, such as fear, pain, and anger, as well as help you find peace and understanding along the way. In fact, many parents benefit from relaxing, reflecting, and documenting what matters most to them. In addition to the more than 100 directions, it also includes activities, inspirational quotes, and curiosities that you can share with your child.

Available on Amazon: $ 13.99 2 Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin This book is full of personal accounts shared by six teens who identify as transgender or non-binary shared through a series of interviews, photographs, and personal narratives. According to POPSUGAR, it is full of happy transition stories, heartbreaking moments and everything in between. It is honest, raw and complete. This book has won awards and is considered an innovative work of LGBT literature. In fact, it’s a great book for parents and teens, and it could even be a story that the whole family reads together.

Available on Amazon: $ 12.99 1 The Social Justice Advocate’s Handbook: A Guide to Gender by Sam Killermann This book explains many of the gender terms that can cause parents to scratch their heads in confusion, such as genderfluid, non-binary, and queer. The text breaks things down in a way that makes it simple and anything but exhausting. It covers topics such as “breaking the track”, feminism / gender equality, social justice and gender. While this text does not fully clarify this, it is a great starting point for parents who want to learn more about their children. Oh, and 100% of the copyright goes directly to Hues, a global justice collective.

Available on Amazon: $ 16.95 Many parents have no idea what to do or say when their child leaves. However, these books can help you process your own feelings and have a better view of what your child is like. After all, the most important thing you can do for any child is to love them, no matter who they are. Sources: BookRiot, PFLAG, POPSUGAR How I Navigated the “Exit” Process with My Children Speaking to my children,

I learned that children do not judge our sexuality if you raise them in a way that promotes acceptance and individuality. Read more About the Author Megan Glosson (547 articles published) Megan Glosson is a mother and freelance writer based in Nashville, Tennessee. She enjoys writing about a variety of parenting topics, but loves to take on anything that has a personal connection to her own life. When she’s not writing, you’ll probably find Megan building Legos or playing board games with her two adorable daughters.

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Parents who want to raise a high success must consider the development of the child.

The economy is competitive and the future is unclear. Meanwhile, high-performing parents expect their children to be just as successful as they are. But much of the common wisdom about raising a child to be a great success actually stands in the way of how child development really works.

It all starts with how we define success in the first place. A high performance is the child who wins competitive awards at 10, or the adult who transforms an industry?

Most parents expect to raise a child who is successful in adulthood and have been told that childhood achievements are the way to go. It is not.

To raise high performance, parents have to resist the toxic culture of parents that I call.

This culture of criticism and anxiety focuses on misconceptions about what parents should do.

Instead, in order to develop their children’s innate talent and creativity, parents need to take advantage of the science of child development.

According to Dr. Ruth Gotian, who is studying the great successes and whose book The Success Factor comes out in January 2022, ” limits of what we know to be true. They did things differently, faster, better, or more efficiently than others.

Successful people take what we know to be true, put it in their head, and re-examine it. Parental culture crushes children Innovative thinking of the kind that high-performing adults express is something that needs to be cultivated and cherished, but current parental culture tends to work against it in two ways.

Culture of Success First and foremost, there is the increasingly harmful culture of success, which has been shown in research to undermine children’s love for learning, especially for girls. In fact, the pressure on children to function is so widespread that in 2019 the National Academy of Sciences designated U.S. high school teens as a “at-risk” group of mental health issues.

Not surprisingly, a recent study found that girls who feel pressured to do so, whether on high grades, extracurricular activities, or in their social life, have more mental health problems. But most successful parents do not realize this, but rather ensure that primary school children receive hours of after-school tutoring or enrichment to make sure they reach their full potential.

Keep in mind that research on child development suggests that children would benefit much more from playing outside. Or that many of these children show anxiety, exhaustion, or depression in middle school. Early specialization Second, the culture of parents drives early specialization: children should find their passion and parents should turn their lives upside down to support it.

Competitive sports and dance teams depend on this; Why would more families spend every minute waking up and giving up their vacation for a volleyball team? Many parents believe that this is their child’s path to a good future and a great university.

According to David Epstein’s excellent review of science in his book Range, “Sometimes the things you do that optimize your results in the short term can undermine long-term development.” Epstein says that pushing early specialization is the “cult of the early start,” because beliefs are so common that no one questions them.

In fact, most of the best, whether in athletics, business, medicine, or any other field, were late specialists. They found their passion in adulthood, having tried many different things.

When it comes to learning, children do better with extensive experiences. These experiences allow them to make connections holistically, in mind and body.

And children who are only allowed to move. a little in childhood is more likely to become innovative and great triumphs in adulthood. Supporting Your Young Success While you’ll need a book to cover everything parents need to deal with in today’s confusing culture, there are some key elements that can support a child’s development toward later achievement.

Create a family culture of openness to experience. Instead of making the child’s early successes or passions the center of the family’s priorities, emphasize your curiosity. When children seek curiosity more than results, they engage in high-interest learning of the kind that high-performing adults consider key to their success.

Recent research finds that the key personality trait associated with gifted learners is openness to the experience or aspect of personality associated with curiosity, creativity, and imagination.

“Openness to experience is a key component of intelligence, contributing to creativity and the ability to consider multiple options and perspectives to approach life, solve problems, and understand complex situations,” writes Dr. Grant Hilary.

Brenner in his article on the study. What children were curious about during childhood often helps them find their passion as adults. getty According to Scientific American, “Experiments in personality psychology show that open-minded people process information in different ways and can literally see the world differently from the average person.”

And that is a key feature of great success. Although personality is partly genetic, research shows that it is possible to change personality. Parents can cultivate openness in children by exploring many activities for both the children individually and for the family.

As children get older, family meals may include times of “interesting ideas,” where family members share their own ideas or what they have learned about other cultures.

And don’t forget to constantly send a message that the value of children comes from who they are and who they love. No factor has been associated more with growing up in adulthood than growing up with the feeling that your parents love you.

Internal Motivation In combination with openness and curiosity, few things can matter more to the success of the best than internal motivation. Make a successful person work where they are motivated and can achieve the impossible.

But how does this work in childhood? U.S. public schools have a duty to provide a solid education, but they have no obligation to help anyone reach their full potential. Many schools are full of teachers and counselors who consider a child’s potential, but legal mandates are the guiding principle.

This means that children are more accustomed to schools focusing on making them aware of their weaknesses. And parents tend to follow suit. But when parents create a family culture that plays with the child’s strengths, the impact on the child’s confidence is immeasurable. Think about what your child is interested in.

What do you spend hours doing when you don’t have to do anything else? Kids who love legos can enjoy a Lego Robotics team.

Is there anything they’ve been asking for to try but haven’t had time for because of their current activities? Maybe it’s time to drop something so they have time in rock school and learn electric guitar.

Or ask your friends to see what music they can create with household items.

The idea that our children will “find their passion” at the age of seven and a half is as unlikely as disturbing a healthy family balance. But helping our children explore all their passions without worrying about success could be the inspiration for this adult passion that drives them to change the world.

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“Misinformation” generally refers to inaccurate statements in the media that may or may not be intended to mislead the audience.

The spread of misinformation has been compounded by our fast, easy, low-cost access to online content and social media.

Misinformation causes damage faster than it can be fixed, with false beliefs persisting even after the information is corrected and accurate.

For example, a 2020 study found that once misinformation was posted on Twitter, it took seven days for denial tweets to match the number of misinformation tweets.

While preadolescents and teens tend to have technological knowledge and aside from the latest media trends, they are still impressionable and susceptible to peer pressure.

Research has shown that even when they suspect that the information available may not be accurate, they will share it online if their friends do the same.

In fact, teens are more like young children than adults in their susceptibility to misinformation. Preteens and adolescents can struggle to discern what is real and what is not, especially on highly controversial topics such as conspiracy theories, social policies, and political issues.

In order to deal with misinformation effectively, it is crucial that parents cultivate analytical thinking through simple and reliable advice.

By using the following three rules, you and your preteen will begin to develop strategies for discerning accurate misinformation information.

The “Fact-Finding Attempts” Rule Teach your preteen or teen to independently examine whether the media content has shown clear attempts to verify facts, or at least question whether the reported events have been verified.

This can be done by simply cross-checking the same information on different websites or social media channels, reading the self-claimed values ​​and mission of the source, and checking the audience’s reactions to these self-affirmations.

Fact-checking is even more relevant for videos based on comments on social media (such as YouTube or TikTok) that combine facts and opinions from online influencers.

This content is often produced at an accelerated rate to capture viral issues and is sometimes aimed at younger consumers, with little or no effort to verify the facts.

In case you and your child have time and want to take a closer look at whether a particular news item has been verified, use some of the online fact-checking tools here. By trial and error, select the tools that work best for you.

Although it takes more time, this process will help build your family’s accumulated knowledge about the different ways in which scientists and educators have fought misinformation.

The rule of “well-rounded conversations” Very susceptible to peer pressure, preadolescents and teens will share content that may be fake but has been shared by their friends, for fear of being ridiculed for being strangers.

Passive exchange with little thought, rather than malicious actors, could be the most important problem in spreading misinformation.

Talk to your child about the data they have shared online, which you can also see. Listen to his story. Then, in a constructive and gentle way, challenge them to be more aware when it comes to sharing their posts online if you think they haven’t thought about the whole process.

Most importantly, tell your child that when they share something online, they have become another “source” of information (such as a website or social media channel) whose credibility is now open to judgment of other people even without them knowing it.

Educate your child or teen that the media landscape is complicated, that different people may have different opinions, and that they may take some ideas and throw in others.

If you have any questions about whether a medium is misinformation, encourage them to refrain from sharing.

The rule of “specific authority figures” In addition to websites and social media as sources of information, authority references are another point of contact that help preadolescents and teens decide if they can trust the message.

Not all authority references are reliable, or they are both reliable and persuasive.

The misinformation related to COVID-19 that was circulated on Twitter was found to include non-specific authority references such as “Taiwanese experts” or “a medical friend.”

In addition, an individual’s attitude toward authority figures plays an important role in the way people perceive and endorse misinformation. Even when the information comes from legitimate sources of authority, people are likely to fail if they have little confidence in authority.

Encourage your child to wonder why they find certain authority figures online more reliable than others.

Show your child ways to discern more legitimate experts by focusing on relevant, expert-specific credentials. Combine this rule with rules 1 and 2 above if you can.

For example, the authority figure may be presented as a “Researcher” or a “Doctor,” with images of the white coat of a laboratory scientist or doctor.

But if your credentials for science or medical experience are not clearly specified or unrelated to conversations, encourage your child to do more cross-checking before deciding whether to trust them.

Could you encourage your child to ask further: “Does this expert demonstrate clear attempts to verify the facts of the reported events?” or, “Does this expert promote a full discussion on this divided issue rather than an absolutist point of view?”

Essentially, you want to cultivate analytical skills in your preadolescent or teen so that they become independent and sophisticated consumers.

This task is not a one-way street. As your child grows and technology continues to change, they may become even more sophisticated media consumers than you!

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When children grow up, parents need to give them some freedom to live their life the way they want.

It is an essential step in the journey of parents, which helps children to learn and grow.

Giving your children enough freedom helps them to be independent and to differentiate between good and evil.

At the same time, you need to impose some restrictions to protect them from making the wrong decisions or going the wrong way.

It leads us to the question of how much freedom you should give your child exactly.

How much freedom should you give your teen?

Giving the right amount of freedom helps prepare your child for adolescence.

While it is common for parents to be confused about how much freedom they should give their children, the response varies from person to person.

How old is your child, how mature is he or she, how much family support does he or she have, what are his or her past experiences, what responsibility does he or she take in a given situation, and more?

Often children are good at identifying genuine people or because of past trauma they are not able to handle a specific situation well, in which case they need the constant guidance of their parents.

Things to keep in mind when making a decision There are no set rules when it comes to freeing your children.

There are several things to keep in mind before deciding on rules for your little ones.

Here are some tips to help you make the right decision. Keep in mind age: Allow only those things that are appropriate for your child’s age.

If your children are only 16 years old, do not allow them to stay up late at night or drive a car without a license.

Tell them to wait a few more years to take advantage of certain privileges. Set clear boundaries: When children ask for permission for something, before allowing them to set clear rules and the consequences of breaking the rule. It will help them to act responsibly. When they leave, set the time to return and limit the time they spend with their friends.

Also, set clear rules about study time and other activities. Implement the consequences for breaking the rules: When your child breaks any rules or limits, make sure you take the right action.

If you do not act at this time, they will repeat the mistakes over and over again. You can assign them additional tasks or limit their outdoor activities if necessary.

Link your freedom with responsibilities: To make your children more responsible, link their freedom with responsibilities. Give them homework to do, pay the bills and bring groceries. It will also help them make responsible decisions.